why am I here?

August 18th, 2005

I started a xanga blog 10 days ago. My first blog. People kept telling me I should, and who am I to disagree with what other people say? (Therein lies the problem. That comes later.)

I did the xanga thing because that’s what everyone at my church does. In order to really feel like you’re a part of my church, you have to either: a. be related to at least 5 people there; b. have attended for at least 5 years; or c. maintain a xanga blog that links to everyone else’s. Since I have no control over the first 2, I decided I had to opt for the third.

OK, so that isn’t true. Not to be taken seriously. You can feel like you’re a part of the church without doing any of these things. Just not with my personality and temperment. So I wrote things on my new little blog every day. I found that I could write about small little things that I don’t really care about, or I could write about things that I do care about, but people would debate them.

That’s fine. For most people. But I don’t like to debate. Mainly because I’m bad at it, and also because I’m overly emotional and get my feelings hurt easily. I was very sad on my lunch break. By the end of my half hour, I decided to start a new blog. One where I can write long posts about things I care about. I’d rather not argue about them, although it’s fine if people read them and don’t agree. You can disagree. But I’m not going to argue my point.

I like the blog thing because it gives me a chance to write and sort out my thoughts. I like to keep journals, but handwritten journals are too time-consuming and computer journals–well–I don’t know. Just not the same. There’s something about blogging that’s appealing. I can’t put my finger on it, but since almost everyone I know has a blog of some sort, I think most people will agree.

So that’s that. It may not last. But at least I’ll have a place where I can write what’s on my mind.

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