January 2nd, 2008

Sitting at my desk, watching the day slip by entirely too fast, wondering what happened to the last 2 weeks that looked so long and empty and full of free time that I could use to do the tons of things I wanted to accomplish, I find myself pondering goals. Generally I don’t do goals. I find that it’s a good way to make myself feel like a failure, because I rarely accomplish my goals, and they end up sitting in a big messy list on a sheet of paper that’s gotten yellowed over the course of its unaccomplished life.

I keep coming across other peoples’ lists and goals in blogs, and wondering if I should maybe do the same?

Looking back over the past year, it’s been kind of a hard one in some ways. Things I expected to happen didn’t quite work out. I stayed at my job longer than I meant to. Other people got things I was hoping for. I don’t feel like getting into any details, but I’ve felt suffocated by disappointments and I’m ready to let go of 2007.

Yet there were good things too. I suppose I could list my top 10 highlights of 2007 or something, and maybe I will. But I haven’t decided yet.

Looking forward to 2008 is scarier than I thought it would be. I’ll be quitting my full-time job at the end of February to pursue wedding photography, but I’ll be staying at my job (or something very similar at least) for an 18-hour part-time schedule. The problem is, I can’t seem to be able to book any more weddings. We only have 4 booked for the whole year. After several meetings, some of them which seemed very promising, I haven’t heard back from anyone. I’m sure we can at least survive on Darek’s salary, but if things don’t change, it’s going to be a tough year.

I go back to work tomorrow and I’m dreading it. My office is dark and the walls are that hideous non-color. After 2 weeks of puttering around the house, spending time with a close friend who was in town for a few days, getting the house cleaner than it’s been in a long time, painting the living room a new, much better color, sleeping in late, and never looking at the clock, the thought of sitting in that office for 8 hours makes me want to crawl in a hole and hide.

No Responses to “resolutions”

Leave a Reply